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Former UGA swimmer Eva Merrell on the mental health of college athletes and working with a staunch adversary to help athletes like her.
Joshua L. Jones, Athens Banner-Herald
– Editors’ Note: This is part one of a series on mental health and college athletics. Here is part two and part three
This series contains discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.
In September of her senior year at Crean Lutheran High in Newport Beach, Calif. Eva Merrell He is committed to swimming. Georgia Above Cal.
A month later, she was hospitalized.
Merrell aspired to make the Olympic team in the backstroke and butterfly, but was diagnosed with an eating disorder at age 15.
That’s after her club coach – someone she’s close to – told her she was “too soft” and that what she thought had sent her into a “spin” of eating disorders.
Years later, she says she has no regrets about the comment.
“I think it’s the first time anyone has mentioned my body and why my body has made me act in a negative way,” she said. “It’s changed my perspective on how my body should look, and it’s encouraged eating habits and fitness and things along those lines.”
Merrell felt uncomfortable eating food that “felt bad” and limited her diet to simple foods – rice, fruit and vegetables, and chicken.
Although she trains as hard as ever, her performance in swimming has declined. She felt tired all the time and couldn’t swim as well as she wanted.
She had blood work done and medical tests concluded that she had an eating disorder. Her hair was thinning, her stomach hurt and she felt like she was going to pass out more often.
“I was very malnourished and that’s why sometimes I couldn’t even pass practice,” she said.
In the year She graduated high school in 2018 and UGA established her as a therapist specializing in eating disorders and a sports nutritionist, as well as seeing a psychiatrist who oversees medication for anorexia nervosa.
During the 2021-2022 school year, 44 percent of Georgia athletes had at least one individual contact with the Georgia Mental Health and Performance Clinic, according to the school.
Dressed in red and black, the hard times challenged and changed them.
Before arriving at UGA, Merrell met with the school’s care team and spoke with a coach to stay on top of her treatment. Jack Bauer.
“I had regular phone calls with Jack and he was very helpful,” said Merrell, ranked the nation’s No. 1 recruit for 2018 by SwimSwam.
Merrell has never been a contender for Georgia. She spent her first semester working out in the pool to build up her endurance, then relapsed and was hospitalized for five weeks her second semester after suffering a heart attack.
She took a medical redshirt, but tore her ACL in the second semester of 2020 when she returned from treatment. She refused medical treatment and completed her college career.
The energy demands of swimming were enormous.
Because of heart complications, she says, “I had to plan my days around the clock to make sure I was eating enough and not overtraining.
About 29 million Americans have an eating disorder in their lifetime, according to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders. More than a quarter have attempted suicide.
“I didn’t get to that point,” Merrell said. “An eating disorder is a daily, minute, hour-by-hour process in my life, and there are times when I feel so low and so upset because I have this part of my mind, that’s all. But I have never reached such a point. Even in my lowest moments, I have a great support system that I can count on to help me get through it.
That includes her family, her boyfriend and his family in Georgia, her close friends, and her UGA treatment team — a therapist, a dietician, a doctor, and a psychiatrist.
Merrell is now a mental health advocate, serving on the leadership team and overseeing social media for “Hidden Resistance,” a nonprofit founded by former Southern Cal volleyball player Victoria Garrick. There are more than 800 athlete ambassadors, including swimmer Abby McCullough, campus captain at UGA.
“You have a lot of interest on your plate,” said Merrell, who will graduate in December and pursue a master’s degree in sports management and policy. “You’re a full-time student and you’re in a lot of these sports, practicing and training and competing, it’s what you do for it. You want to compete and play well. I think most of the demands that student-athletes have can wear on your mental health. Like eating disorders or clinical depression. Whether or not clinical depression turns into a detectable condition, or even if you struggle with general mental health like you’re worried about, I think a lot of athletes feel like that at some point.
Merrell is one of the many mental health stories of Georgia athletes past and present. Here are some of them:
Looking for balance, not ‘soft’
Juan Parker He earned not one, but two master’s degrees from UGA, in sports management and family financial planning. He endured not one, but two torn Achilles while playing basketball for the Bulldogs from 2013-18.
“Just playing through pain is a long injury and recovery process,” he said.
Parker had some rough spots. He turned to God and then coach Mark Fox suggested he see a sports psychologist. Parker hesitated, but then continued to walk. He tried to keep quiet, not even telling his girlfriend at the time.
He didn’t want anyone to think he was “soft” or that he was “out of my mind.”
“Between God and the psychologist, I had a lot of people to talk to,” he said.
Parker said the psychologist had an office in the Stegeman Coliseum. He saw her up to eight months and then it was very rare when it was more important.
“It helped me set up a lot of things,” Parker said. “As athletes, I think we tend to be perfectionists. When things go wrong, we tend to blame ourselves, especially me. It helped me realize that some things are out of your control. She was a great sounding board to help me rationalize the issues I was facing.
After his teammate William “Turtle” Jackson, who starred at Athens Christian, underwent knee surgery, he turned to a sports psychologist during his sophomore and junior years.
Before his UGA career ended, he “was just talking about life, about everything that goes on in life.” “Being at a new stage in life, I can only take her advice and learn how to learn from someone who works for a living.”
Parker is now an assistant varsity and JV coach at Landmark Christian in Fairburn and the author of “The Guide: How to Win the College Game,” about getting into college and then finding success while there.
He now tries to find balance in his life through meditation, prayer, breath work, yoga, working out, meditation and walking.
“It helps me stay grounded and realize that things are not always what they seem,” he said. “Just take it one at a time.”
Sport was not a refuge from the curves of life
Sarah Mosley She made clutch big moments on the field for Georgia softball in her sophomore season. 1 Oklahoma and drove in a run to force extra innings in a home win and a 2021 NCAA regional final against No. 13 Duke.
Off the field, things are very difficult for her.
“I was going through a lot at home,” she said. “I was in a lot of separation. I used to do all kinds of things. It was a snowball effect. Once everything was wrong, it was always wrong.”
Her coach at the time, Lou Harris-Champer, brought her to the Georgia softball office.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Mosley recalled. “I just lost it. …My home life made softball difficult. For me, softball was always my go-to and my go-to, and it was always something I could get away with, and softball just wasn’t that for me anymore. That’s what made it so hard.”
Harris-Champer told the third-year football player from Ellijay to meet with the Georgia Athletics mental health team, and Mosley got the help she needed.
“I am forever grateful to Coach Lou and the University of Georgia for helping me,” Mosley said.
Tony Baldwin, an assistant under Harris-Champer who was promoted to head coach after the 2021 season, talks about keeping a vision for his players every day.
That’s not all wins and losses. He wants you to find joy in the process.
“If you’re waiting for something to happen to talk about mental health, I think you’re missing the boat,” he said.
“You have to be mentally strong.”
As a 5-year-old growing up on the east side of Atlanta in an area known as the Beltline, football was always a part of it. Love him, HerreraLife.
He also played some football.
“Everything was always based on football and being able to play football,” he said
Herrera is a four-star inside linebacker at North Clayton High and a four-year starter for Georgia, leading the team with 115 tackles in 2014.
Herrera spent two seasons in the NFL after the Colts drafted him in the sixth round.
Then it’s over.
“We all go through something,” Herrera said. “How athletes go through it is very different than most people. They go through it quickly. Most people who play at a high level go through that transition very quickly. You’re on top of the world and then you try to figure out what you want to do in life. … You don’t know what your identity is because your identity has been taken away from you.
Herrera tried out for WWE wrestling. He returned to UGA and graduated with a degree in sociology.
Then he entered the financial plan.
The transition from being a celebrity athlete to life after football is tough.
“Everybody has a hard time,” he said. “You’d be lying if you didn’t bother. …who doesn’t want all the glory, all the play, all the money for whatever they put their heart into. Everyone deals with struggle and everyone deals with that struggle and most people deal with it differently.
“Was it worth it?” Herrera said. He wrote a book called Looking at what happens to athletes mentally and physically when their career ends.
When he was at Georgia, he said, there was pressure to play and succeed, to do well in the classroom, to please his family and to earn a spot on the depth chart.
“You never know how much it weighs on people’s minds because they have to play,” he said. “Being mentally strong is definitely something you have to do and not everyone is mentally strong and that’s what causes a lot of people to quit or move around. They deal with their pain differently.
Herrera was concerned he was about to lose his starting spot, but said he didn’t seek any clinical help when he struggled and considered quitting.
“I honestly didn’t even know what the hell they were offering,” he said. “You don’t think about that kind of thing.”
Herrera said he talked to the team’s pastor, Thomas Settles, and he used his faith and belief to get him through the ordeal.
“Growing up, anyone who plays football, plays sports, you have to be mentally strong,” he said. “You think being mentally strong means controlling your emotions and controlling your emotions.”
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