But lately, I’ve begun to wonder if the trips are really for business, as she claims, or just short layovers. She enjoys leading on these trips, and always seems a little disappointed when she returns. That sounds like vacation time to me, and I’m not okay with her vacationing without me.
Am I thinking this or should I go ahead with my plan to give her an ultimatum about taking a vacation without me?
There are many The red flags here are things you and your girlfriend do and don’t “allow” for each other.
The possibility of her lying to get out of you twice a month, her disappointment when she returns, the stability of her job if she gets so much time off – these come to mind. Just as you plan to give her an ultimatum.
Miss Manners suggests that you all part ways, no matter what, as she enjoys traveling so much that you ask if she might want to go on vacation with you.
Whatever her answer is, it will probably be telling. And if her response isn’t satisfactory, at least you’ll be free to watch TV in your underwear again.
Dear Miss Manners: I often see my neighbors when I walk my dog. They often ask me to stop and meet, but I’m very sensitive to what I call “synthetic laundry smell” – the indelible signature smell of many laundry detergents and dryer sheets. The chemicals in these products remain in people’s clothing and I can’t breathe comfortably, even outdoors, standing a few feet away.
What is the polite way to decline an invitation to socialize in these cases? I wish I had a better way to say, “I’m sorry, but I’m severely allergic to you.”
You don’t have it To explain why you don’t stop to socialize. As you point out, “your smell is slowly killing me” won’t make you any friends.
Miss Manners suggests instead suggesting that your haste is due to the urgency of your dog’s business. Smile and wave from afar as you wave your furry friend apologetically. Then one day when you meet your neighbors without your dog pulling, it’s not laundry day.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday. washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manner at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.